Director(s)	Kōji Shiraishi
Principal Cast	Mizuki Yamamoto as Yūri Tina Tamashiro as Suzuka Aimi Satsukawa as Natsumi Masahiro Komoto as Professor Morishige Masanobu Andō as Keizō Mai Kikuchi as Tamao Runa Endo as Kayako Saeki Elly Nanami as Sadako Yamamura Rintaro Shibamoto as Toshio Saeki
Release Date	2016
Language(s)	Japanese
Running Time	98 minutes

Every horror fan has their gateway horror movie(s) that manages to capture their interests and serve as an introduction to the frightening, yet intoxicating allure the genre at large offers. For me, that movie is Gore Verbinski’s The Ring. I can still remember watching it for the first time so many years ago, swearing I’d never go near a television again. However, that fear turned into an obsession with the sense of vitality I felt while watching something so frightening. The adrenaline rush and sense of immersion I had felt ,while watching the movie with baited breath through the gaps between my fingers, led me down the J-Horror rabbit hole, as I quickly discovered my precious horror movie was actually a remake of a Japanese movie by the same name. After watching the original, I quickly got sucked into the world of Japanese horror. I quickly saw as much as I could – Pulse, One Missed Call, Audition, Ju-On, Cure, and so on- in a a frenzy. At some point my summer vacation was literally watching one of these movie, pacing in fear, sleeping with one eye open until said fear had gone away, and moving onto the next one on the list. Eventually, I became more acclimated to the horror genre in general, but J-Horror will always have a special place in my heart.

Given that, it should be no surprise that I absolutely freaked out when I saw the first trailer for this movie back in 2015. Like many other fans, I thought its release on April 1st meant it was an elaborate April Fool’s joke, but imagine my surprise when I heard the announcement early 2016 that the meme movie was in fact going to actually come out. My brain couldn’t process it. A Ring movie crossing over with Ju-On? Both movies (and their American remakes, especially in the case of the former) scared the piss out of me growing up, so I eagerly awaited this monster mashup- my Freddy vs. Jason if you will. When I saw it was being directed by Kōji Shiraishi, the man behind Noroi: The Curse (one of my favorite found footage movies ever), that excitement grew to unreasonable levels. What would he do to get Kayako and Sadako to fight one another? How would the fight even go? What kind of amazing battle sequences would us, the fans, get to witness in action?

As soon as I could find a way to watch the movie online I jumped at the chance. With baited breath, I hit play and waited for the supernatural battle of the century to commence. Unfortunately, what I got was more of a Ring reimaging sprinkled with a little bit of Ju-on every now and then to remind the audience that this was in fact a mashup movie. The final battle happens at almost the end of the movie, and barely lasts more than a few minutes. All in all, I was left disappointed. This wasn’t what even close to what I wanted. The excitement, the adrenaline, the anticipation – everything left me like air from a deflated balloon.

Close to a year later, I decided to watch the movie again on a random whim. I was looking for something to keep on in the background, while I focused on some menial task and figured since I knew what happened anyways I couldn’t be disappointed again. Much to my surprise, I found myself enjoying it a lot more. I chalked it up to a lack of expectations, but have since realized – no – I actually do enjoy portions of the movie. Is it still a disappointment? Yes, more so, because its in my subsequent rewatches that I’ve come to realize just how many neat elements the movie has that it does absolutely nothing with. It’s a disappointment, not because it’s bad, but because of how miserably it squanders the potential it had.

The movie opens up on a quick kill from Sadako before cutting to a University class being taught by Professor Morishige. His lecture topic is Japanese urban legends. As you would expect he brings up the cursed video tape along with the accompanying tale of Sadako and the concept of Onryō‘s (the vengeful spirit Kayako is) in quick succession with some other monsters like the Kuchisake-onna (split faced women). Interestingly enough, his story of the cursed tape involves being killed after 2 days as opposed to 7. He tells the students that such tales are just memes (you read that right) that have spread due to lack of information and makes the astute observation that if the cursed video tape was actually real it’d have shown up online by now. He ends his lesson and the movie pivots to two students in his classroom, Yūri and Natsumi.

These two best friends leave the room for lunch at which point the latter asks the former to convert her parents VCR tape to a more convenient format. Cue the girls buying an old video cassette player with a free cursed tape inside. The movie cuts at this point to a third schoolgirl, Suzuka, who’s moving right next to the Saeki household (you know, where Toshio and Kayako lives). She feels herself being watched (natural, given the ghosts at the residence) before the movie cuts back to Yūri and Natsumi watching the tape with the latter getting cursed as the former looks down to answer a text. The paranoia starts hitting and the girls decide to go to Professor Morishige for advice. After he confirms the girls have the actual videotape, by virtue of watching it himself, he dances with elation. Turns out Morishige is a huge Sadako super-fan and wants nothing more than to meet her. He eagerly awaits a phone call from the spirit and agrees to help the girls out by getting them an exorcism.

Alas, the exorcism doesn’t go as planned so the girls hire two psychics, Keizō and Tamao, to help them survive Sadako’s wrath. If you’ve noticed I haven’t mentioned the Ju-On sub-plot that much that’s because the movie also doesn’t feel the need to develop it outside of sprinkling in some random scares with the Kaeki’s every now and then (praise fodder kills) to remind us this is a crossover movie. That aside, the psychics are the best part of the movie outside of Morishige. Tamao is sarcastic and brutal as all hell which is made all the better by the fact that she’s played by kid. Imagine a pre-teen casually brushing off your stupidity and nonchalantly mentioning how screwed you are. It’s genuinely funny. Likewise, Keizō is a snarky badass, who uses his psychic abilities to fight spirits. Watching him in action is like watching a mime tangentially affecting the world with their motions – it’s honestly kind of cool. Unfortunately, their arrival coincides with the disappearance of Morishige who’s written off in an absurd but incredibly comedic way. We have to lose an interesting character to get two interesting characters, which is a tragedy when everyone else in the movie is astoundingly boring. Needless to say, the psychics come up with the masterplan to have Kayako and Sadako fight each other, hoping that the two curses will be strong enough to obliterate one another and save any potential victims. At some point Suzuka gets involved, but like I said it’s not that important.

So you have a ton of interesting elements – Japanese style exorcism, badass psychics, a teacher obsessed with meeting a ghost that will kill him upon contact, the changing of the urban myth behind the cursed video tape, and two of the most iconic J-Horror characters of all time- that all get so bogged down in the minutia of boring, generic, and seemingly irrelevant story threads that overwhelm the run-time of the movie. On top of that, while I think the Ring storyline is at least given an okay run through in setting up the power level for the ultimate battle, the Ju-On storyline feels like an afterthought. Even in the moments dedicated to it, Toshio gets most of the screen-time while Kayako gets a few scraps of attention.

If the story was inverted – that is the interesting elements were the primary story and the girls were the background elements they should have been – this movie would have kicked serious ass. Just imagine how awesome a supernatural noir would be. Two psychic detectives-for-hire fighting off spirits with a variety of abilities who then get work from a client hell bent on meeting Sadako and living. Tie that in with the discussion about how urban legends morph and change (the curse going from 7 days to 2 days) to reference how beliefs and ideas can change the metaphysical makeup of spirits to keep them relevant in the status quo (close to something like Noragami ) and boom – both Kayako and Sadako can be different but related to their previous movie incarnations giving the director tons of leeway to explore them and morph them in a way that the audience hasn’t seen. That movie would be the bees knees.

Instead, the story we do get feels like an uninspired mashup that’s 65% Ring , 20% interesting J-horror stuff like psychics, and 15% Ju-On. As a Ring/The Ring mega fan, I could have forgiven this if at least the storyline explained the 2 day versus 7 day update on the curse in an interesting way to give the story something distinct about it, but the change is literally glossed over like an afterthought. It actually feels like they changed the number of days before demise so that the movie would move faster. I also could have gotten into the movie if the final fight was a bigger portion of the run time and actively gave both Kayako and Sadako chances to beat the undead matter out of one another. The worst part about the fight is it actually starts off with gusto and gets you amped for what’s going to come next, before quickly culminating in a CGI fiesta that’s wrapped up in a few minutes. Either go the route of Freddy vs. Jason and embrace a schlock of a story to give us amazing fights or try and give us a good story that does justice to the narrative strengths of both franchises. This movie does neither. It just teases us with what could’ve been.

It sounds like I’ve really ragged on the movie a lot, which I have. However I want to stress that the movie is decent at a technical level. It’s not like the movie is shot poorly (outside of a few moments of awful CGI) or has any bad performances (which are decent by and large). It’s just that it doesn’t make use of any of these elements effectively. In general, Shiraishi knows how to build up tension in a scene and doesn’t rely on jump scares. He’s good at edging the audience out, priming them for something genuinely scary. The issue is none of these build-ups are met with anything that does justice to what came before. For example, the movie constantly teases the nature of Sadako’s new cursed tape. The first two times it’s watched by characters, all the audience can see is reactions as opposed to the tape itself. When we finally get to see it on it’s third viewing, we’re fully ready and amped for the reveal. What could be on it that’s so terrifying? Unfortunately, like most of the reveals in the movie, the revelation of the footage on the tape is uninspired and ultimately disappointing. It genuinely feels like a case of a movie fighting itself, with small sections of it desperate to come to the forefront to elevate the material being beaten back by the slogging and more derivative sections. That being said, the actual ending of the movie is actually kind of great from a fanservice point of view – I mean the literal last moments of the movie when nothing more of substance can happen, which is why it’s not a huge factor in my review. I can’t say it made up for the disappointments that came before, but it gives me hope that a good crossover might be possible.

That brings me to the most important question. Would I recommend the movie? Maybe. It depends on the person. General horror fan? No. Fan of Ju-On? No. Fan of Ring? Maybe. J-Horror Fanatic? Yes, with the caveat to go in with absolutely no expectations. I think if you’re into the ambiance of J-Horror movies and go in knowing there’s not going to be a huge fight, you’ll find the experience acceptable. My only hope is one day, someone can genuinely go and revitalize these titans of the genre. If this movie is proof of anything, it’s that there are still more than enough interesting ideas to play around with to give Sadako and Kayako a new life. We can only hope that it happens.

REPORT CARD

TLDR	Sadako vs Kayako should’ve been the J-Horror equivalent of Freddy vs. Jason but manages to fall short in almost every way possible. The story is contrived and feels more like a Ring remake than a combination of the Ring and Ju-On. The interesting bits the story does introduce are never developed into something more substantive. The climactic battle is only a few minutes long and barely manages to let the titular spirits shine through while fighting. Would I recommend this movie to most people? No. However, I do think J-Horror super fans can enjoy the movie if they temper their expectations.
Rating	4.8/10
Grade	F

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